Diario de MsWahine

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25 diciembre 2009

12/24/09

FOOD TIMING:
8:30 - green tea
10:30 - cake
12:30 - lunch (office party)
3:30 - green tea
7:00 dinner/water
10:30 green/peppermint tea
1:15 green beans/tuna (I REALLY WANTED A ROLL!)

Not enough water today coupled with minimal sleep...AGAIN. Have yet another cold.

Schizophrenic marriage = basket case me

Ho ho ho.

12/23/09

FOOD TIMING:
8:30 - 1:00 green tea
1:00 - lunch
3:30 - cake/green tea
7:00 - dinner
11:00 - pistachios

Drank tea & water throughout day; minimal sleep, getting another cold.

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23 diciembre 2009

I think stress is causing more weight loss than I expected. Mostly because I'm eating less though not necessarily always well. I am timing my carbs a lot more conscientiously than I was doing 2 weeks ago. When you feel rampaged, it's kind of easy not being tempted by treats at night when I would normally want them. Having alternate choices, like the dark chocolate and ice cream is also helping. And lots of peppermint green tea!

Peso:	Disminuído hasta ahora:	Aún para ir:	Dieta seguida:
109,7 kg	2,1 kg	39,4 kg	Bien

Agregar Comentario Perdiendo 1,7 kg a la Semana

22 diciembre 2009

Looking at yesterday's food breakdowns, I am not eating enough fiber, though I am making short work of eating sweets. Though I limit them to certain times of the day, I'm still not exercising so such high carb & fat intake seems wrongish. I will just take it a day at a time.

Stress levels are ramped up again, and I keep having breakdowns in my office. I have to hide and shut my door so no one can hear me. It's tiring and redundant and nerve-wracking. I come here to get out of the house but then I'm just a big, fricking mess. Today I had to bring Gretchen to work with me because my husband disappeared and didn't tell me where he went. I am trying to run a business, but it is more like a 3-ring circus. All I need are some lions & tigers to bite my head off and I can really create a show worth watching..."Featuring the life of MsWahine on When Animals Attack." Nice.

On a happier note, I just discovered I can put one of my Low Carb tortillas in my <a href=http://www.redisetgo.com/drtv/ecs/index.html?linksiteID=vPIPvbGDKE8-FkT39waeiUDI5glV_WrLAg&url=http://www.redisetgo.com/><b>GT Express 101</b><a/> (yes, I bought it on an infomercial...I will admit it) and create a tastily crunchy snack on the fly.

Worked too late, wasn't hungry so didn't eat, but realized when I got home I needed to eat. Then, of course, I wanted sugar. :: sigh ::

Headache still lingering. Crying causes all manner of head issues.

FOOD TIMING:
9:00 - 1:00 - green tea
12:00 - treats
1:00 - 2:00 - Water
2:00 - lunch
2:00 - 5:30 - Water
5:30 - tortilla snack
5:30 - 8:45 - Water
9:00 - Dinner
10:00 - ice cream
10:30 - 12:00 green/peppermint tea

Didn't do very well with eating times. Tried to stay away from the "typical" carbs late in the day and night. Drank a lot of water, but not as much tea. Can't seem to do both concurrently.

12/21/2009

Yo-yo diets.
Yo-yo relationships.
I detect a trend.

FOOD TIMING:

9:30 - Green Tea
12:00 - Lunch
12:00 - 5:00 - Green tea
3:00 - Treats
6:00 - Herbal tea/water
7:00 - Dinner
9:00 - 12:00 - Green/peppermint tea

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21 diciembre 2009

Toothpicks in the Eyelids
I am officially a boob. I stayed up last night (this morning) talking on the phone until 4:15A to my best friend. We talked for 2 1/2 hours. I swear to Pete, the only time we can talk is in the wee hours because of our wee ones. But I had a breakthrough whilst talking to her. Actually, she told me what I need to do to get my business back in order and I realized she was right. It felt like a 2-ton weight got lifted from my chest. What I need to do is going to take some readjustments and some belt-tightening, but she's totally right. And I have been unable to see it at all. I have been so inundated with every sort of issue on every front of my life that trying to figure out even the smallest things has felt monumental.

She asked me why I always feel the need to consider everyone else's needs/life/emotions/dog/cat/goldfish before I even rememebr that I have to take care of moi self. She's right. Boy howdy, how right she is. It's the underlying premise to my fatability.

I heard a quote in October at a business seminar, something along the lines of "You can't be great until you get uncomfortable." It rang true and I immediately started trying to put things into practice that felt uncomfortable (like talking to a person I normally wouldn't approach or saying nothing when I would normally pipe up), and damn the torpedoes. As we spoke last night, it dawned on me that those behaviors (talking or not) are easier to identify than the attitudes that are the bedrock of the behaviours. Certain attitudes are so ingrained that recognizing them as they occur can be an Herculean task. It wasn't until Nic pointed a few of my own out to me that I just sort of paused and thought, "Oh yeah. Duh."

And that was my "ah-ha" moment. To get beyond this place I am right now -...personally, professionally, emotionally, intellectually, creatively...- I will need to do the things that are uncomfortable; namely, taking care of myself. This sounds like a no-brainer, but it is way more involved than it first appears. It is much easier for me to take care of other people than it is to take care of myself. I know I'm not alone in this, but it manifests itself differently from person to person.

Anyway, a little too philosophical to go into at 12:50A. Speaking of taking care of myself, time to hit the hay.

FOOD TIMING:
Bed time: 4:30
Wake time: 9:30

10:15 - Green Tea
11:50 - Lunch
12:00 - 3:00 Green tea/water
3:00 - persimmon, chocolate
3:00 - 4:00 Green tea/water
4:00 - pistachios
4:00 - 5:30 Green tea/water
5:30 - soy nuts
5:30 - 7:20 green tea/water
7:20 - dinner
7:20 - 11:00 green/peppermint tea
11:30 - choc fudge (no, not 77% cocoa)

Baked most of the day in the kitchen, so was up and about, though not out taking a walk as I'd planned. When it rained it was a very convenient excuse to keep baking.

Also didn't realize how high in carbs, low in fiber the parsnips are until I looked tonight. Bummer since we're growing a bunch. But our arugula is still going strong in the garden, so am munching that down pretty much daily.

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19 diciembre 2009

There's No Place Like Home...
I spent the better part of the day in Marin seeing Gretchen's first ballet about a little girl named Sophie who falls asleep and dreams about enchanted toys. I haven't been to a ballet in a century or two and I was like a little kid again seeing my first Nutcracker at the San Francisco War Memorial building in the 1970's, although I wasn't quite so young as Gretchen when I saw my first ballet (she won't be 3 for another month and a half).

But she was a very good girl when one considers that the ballet lasted 2 hours and she had no nap. We changed seats to the high tier with hardly any people at intermission because I was pretty sure she wouldn't make it through the 2nd half. Right before the finale, she was facing backward and bounced on her seat and got what amounts to a rug burn on the tip of her nose when she slipped face first down the chair. It elicited a shriek and I raced with her out of the theater to calm her outside. I was frazzled and ran my nylons, but all in all it was a girly-fun day with my babykins and her grandma & auntie.

We went to the Teddy Bear Tea Party afterwards, which was my bribe to get Gretchen to stop crying from her poor rug-burned nose. I told her there would be cookies and juice and princesses. We took pictures with the ballerinas. She drank her juicebox. We got a pink and a purple balloon. We ate bear shaped butter cookies. I ate every bite and licked my fingers and didn't feel guilty once.

I am tired again tonight, but had a good day. I am not sleeping enough, which hasn't helped on many levels. But things are considerably calmer on the homefront. The entire week has been a low-pressure cyclonic system, a tornado whose funnel touched down upon my world, laying waste to many of my days. The dust has settled, and I don't know how clearly drawn the lines of relationship are, but I don't know how clear any of that is for anybody.

I do feel the need to pay attention, to see if this is a pattern in my life that emerges under certain conditions. It's interesting to think about because when you look at how storms form in nature, there are signs along the way that the storm is coming. Cyclones occur under specific conditions, often out of thunderstorms. If the right conditons exist :: POOF :: you have yourself a twister. I imagine the storms in our lives are much the same. The signs are all there, we just have to pay attention. Knowing how to read the signs doesn't mean you can prevent the storm, but it often can mean you're able to prepare to avoid devastation.

FOOD TIMING
Bedtime: 3:15A
Wake time: 9:45A

10:20 - Green tea
11:40 - soy nuts
12:00 - Lunch
12:30 - Water
3:15 - Cookie, water
4:30 - 5:30 - Green tea
5:30 - Snack (salmon & arugula)
5:30 - 7:00 - Green tea
5:30 - 6:30 - Holiday party (Broccoli & dip, brie no bread)
7:00 - Dinner (wrap)
8:00 - chocolate, green tea
10:00 - green/peppermint tea
11:30 - fishoil

It's 11:15P, I'm kind of hungry again, but think I will ignore it. I have some tea left and I need to take some fish oil.

Water was difficult because I couldn't take it into the theater today, but I managed. No terribly unmanageable cravings today. Plan on getting another piece of that Porno chocolate cake from Whole Foods tomorrow.

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