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05 junio 2012
I am starting over. So far it has been good. It has been successful. I have learned a lot! But...It is time to start again. I have spent the last week trying to eat my way through grief. It failed. I made sooo very many bad choices and knew it the whole time but just didn't care. Attitude is so much a part of this process. I ate so much and so many "bad" foods that I'm certain there wasn't enough room on my food journal to log everything in. So...I am starting over. I don't think it was a plateau so much that I reached in late April as much as it was a brick wall. I banged myself up against that wall the end of April and ALL of May. Not June! I am starting over. "They" say that when you get closer to your goal weight the harder it is. So true for me. "They" also say that when you get to that point you need to dig deeper and push harder. That is my new plan. Dig deeper, push harder. This is important to me. I want to succeed. Here are the steps I will be taking to get to my promised land: Water, water, water! I can no longer just give this lip service. I need to actually drink. This is not hard, except for me. I have no good reason why I struggle so much with drinking water but it stops/starts now. Veggies are step two. I am not getting near enough vegitables and I intent to change that today. I like most vegitables so I will include them in my meals daily. Step three: gum. I have always hated gum. Sounds a bit harsh I know but I feel very strongly about gum. I hate it. Still, it is a small price to pay to keep my mouth occupied at only 5 calories a stick. I will use it to take the edge off and buy myself some time to make good choices. That's it. Three simple steps to get me over/around this damn wall I've been banging myself up against. I will finish what I have started. I will win. I am worth it. Here's to a new begining!
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30 mayo 2012
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110,2 kg
44,0 kg
8,2 kg
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Ganando 0,2 kg a la Semana
29 mayo 2012
This is not a shocking revelation when I say I am an emotional eater. I guess I've just not thought much about it before. My aunt passed away Saturday night and I have been eatting my grief away since. The grief has not gone away even with all the calories I've consumed. That's not shocking either. Right now I just don't care. This too shall pass. I am hopefull before too much more damage gets done. Note to self; learn some new coping skills!! She was so proud of me and my accomplishments. I need to re-group soon. Funny how I know that and I know that what I am doing is not helping in any way, shape or form but still I do it. Bad choices at every turn. Such a disconnect from head to heart sometimes. Better days are ahead.
(3 comentarios)
26 mayo 2012
Best compliment ever!!! Saw a man at a company I go into for work. Hadn't seen him in awhile. He said to me..."where's the other girl? Is she on vacation?" Yep, didn't know it was me. Best compliment so far. Loved it! Hope you get one like that too if you haven't already. Life's simple pleasures. Also, bought myself a new bracelet. They are a set of three you wear together. They fit and look kinda cute really. Find myself looking at my wrist alot. Feeling kinda sassy today. Better brace myself for a visit from satan to knock me down to size. I'm ready for him. Bring it on bad boy!
(2 comentarios)
24 mayo 2012
It seems every time I verbalize pride in myself or my accomplishments or give myself any kind of pat on the back Satan shows up to dangle a carrot in front of me. What is that all about?! It's like I am one of his best customers and he doesn't want to lose me. Truthfully, I chase the carrot from time to time. Satan and I have quite a history together. Our bond is breakable though. I am getting some muscle now. Not a violent person but I'm about ready to take him on. Maybe the message here is to stop tooting my own horn. I'm not running around bragging. I will comment on my journal about success' I'm having and I'll be darned if the next day it doesn't bite me in butt. For the record, it's never a carrot that he dangles.
(1 comentario)
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