My life is crazy busy and kind of stressful. My fiance' is in Iraq as a civil contractor and not due back until the end of this year. Between us we have 5 kids. The four oldest are pretty much out on their own, the youngest is 12. I suffer from chronic clinical depression it is under control with medication. I joined myfatsecret.com June 21, 2010 my ultimate goal is to change my life and my lifestyle. I want to re-learn to love exercise, eat healthier and treat myself as I deserve to be treated instead of this love/hate abusive relationship with food. I love good food, but it isn't good when food controls you. Sometimes I feel like a smoker, I can't quit or eating is out of control. I want to change all of that before I can't or make myself truly ill.