I am so tired of dieting. I am so tired of being fat. I am so tired of thinking I am doing/eating the right things that I am giving up the prescribed diets. My last formal "diet" had me taking diet pills that raised my blood pressure to the point that I was prescribed blood pressure medication. There is something really sick about that. I am listed as being on the atkins diet because I have great success on atkins and always felt better with a lower carbohydrate diet but I have put the weight back on plus+++. I don't diet anymore. I am going to be healthy and enjoy eating and stop this cycle of self deprecation and deprivation.

I read "I can make you thin" by Paul McKenna and now I just feel stupid for the roller coaster I have put my body and my emotions through. McKenna is about getting in touch with your body's signals, basically eat when you are hungry and stop when you're full. He's right. I have been eating what and how much all these diets have been telling me to and I have completely lost touch with reality. If I am not on a "diet", I don't know what to eat. I don't know what to buy at the supermarket. Enough! He also emphasizes exercise and includes a self hypnosis cd that will change the way you think about yourself and your relationship with food. I put my ipod on every night and fall asleep while listening. I can't recommend his book or cd enough.

I am using fatsecret as a tool to make myself aware of what I am really doing/eating. I am a master of self deception and this will help me see clearly what I am doing. I am going to exercise and focus on eating healthy and see how it goes.