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Well fell off the wagon eating last night at a Mexican restaurant. Fajitas (no tortilla) but pigged out on chips, queso, beans and rice. I needed comfort food. Had a gift card so it was good. I want fast food today too but going to hold off.
Hubs and I had another counseling session with the pastor last night. I felt, once again, scolded for my extreme feelings on the problems and that I have contemplated leaving. Hubs owned up to the mood swings being from the nicotine and I got angry again that he failed me. He agreed and said that he is trying to quit again but it isn't going well and he is afraid of the withdrawals. I mentioned that I would be on vacation for a week in June. But my thing is that he knew it would be like that and still chose to start back.
Pastor wanted us to remember why we fell in love and refill our love banks. "His Needs. Her Needs." book lingo. I said that my love bank is empty and I have thought about leaving which surprised hubs. He didn't think I was that upset but I truly am. He failed me and at least he uttered that he failed me and that is why he is really trying to stop again.
Hubs said that realized some things he did while dating he has stopped doing as married. He surprised me with flowers sent to my job. And he trimmed his 'Stache which I think was for my benefit since the handlebars made kissing unpleasant. Though I hadn't really said that to him because he truly loves his mustache. He gets off on people saying that he looks like Sam Elliot.
It is hard to deal with my extreme feelings and the pastor still is trying to get me to agree to anxiety meds but I don't want to medicate myself to "forget" my hatred for the problem. One day at a time.
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1529 kcal
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Grasa: 48,64g | Prot: 76,99g | Carbh: 195,06g.
Desayuno: Coffee, Bigelow Tea Earl Grey Tea, Slim Jim Original Turkey. Almuerzo: Kellogg's Special K Pumpkin Spice Crunch, 2% Fat Milk, Great Value Light Buttermilk Ranch Dressing, Fresh'n Easy Garden Salad, Smart Ones Turkey with Mashed Potatoes. Cena: Baja Bob's Sugar Free Margarita Mix, Jennie-O Ground Turkey 93/7, Ragu Old World Style Original Pasta Sauce, Orange Juice, Penne. Pasa Bocas / Otros: Vanilla Ice Creams, Snickers Snickers Bar (Fun Size). más...
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1889 kcal
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Ejercicio:
Ver TV - 1 hora y 1 minuto, Lavado de Ropa - 40 minutos, Ducharse - 50 minutos, Trabajo de Escritorio - 8 horas, Lavar Platos - 40 minutos, Durmiendo - 12 horas y 49 minutos. más...
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 Comentarios
None of my business, but I’ve dealt with a spouse trying to quit nicotine. Best advice we got was from the Naked Marriage podcast. They said to frame it as you and your spouse versus the addiction, not you versus your spouse. I highly recommend listening to their podcasts about addictions. Good luck
05 may. 22 por el miembro: Luthien Tinuviel 90
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The immense sadness that I have over this drains my happiness. Mainly because he promised to quit and it wouldn't be a problem in our marriage but alas. @Luthien Tinuviel 90 I do take a very hardline with it because I see it as failing me. But the pastor is wanting me to be lenient on it. It is a struggle.
05 may. 22 por el miembro: WisteriaSky233
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That may put a lot of pressure on him which causes more stress. I don’t know about “lenient,” but maybe trying to understand more? That podcast really helped me.
05 may. 22 por el miembro: Luthien Tinuviel 90
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If all it took to quit smoking and win nicotine addiction was being threatened by one’s partner, a lot of people would stop smoking very easily. Alas, the psychology and physiology of addiction is far more complex than that, and quitting smoking is very hard even when immensely motivated.
I quit smoking 2,5 years ago, after several serious attempts over the years. My partner has always been very supportive of my attempts, and never judgmental of me because of my nicotine addiction, though always worried about its impact on my health. My partner’s support and empathy were crucial to my success in quitting, and I am very thankful for that.
If you’d like to help your partner with successfully quitting smoking, I urge you to try find some compassion for him in yourself, and the will, love and strength to support him in that. Threatening, yelling, berating usually does zero to help, but there’s no surprise in that. Quitting smoking is about him, not other people. When we fail at quitting addictions, we’re not failing other people, we are failing ourselves. And we’re fully and painfully aware of that. That’s why compassion and support and help are so welcome and helpful for overcoming the withdrawals, and the mental and physical battles with the cravings.
I think the advice for you and your partner to be on the same team and work together against the nicotine addiction is excellent.
13 may. 22 por el miembro: riaau
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@riaau I am trying and I don't yell at him but I do cry a lot because he promised that he had quit and failed his end of the bargain and now I'm married to someone who I can't trust. I am pretty disgusted by him.
13 may. 22 por el miembro: WisteriaSky233
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It sounds like y’all need actual marriage counseling. It goes through how to address hurts and move on from them. If your pastor is trained in that, great, but if not I would find someone who is. I went through the same thing with my husband, but the only thing that has made him stop lying and stick to it has been working on it together. They lie because they don’t want to disappoint someone, so having a spouse be “disgusted” with them is just more motivation to lie and it damages self esteem even more. You might just try listening to that podcast together or approaching it from the standpoint of helping him. That’s my advice if you want to work things out. It’s definitely hard, but worth it.
13 may. 22 por el miembro: Luthien Tinuviel 90
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