Diario de slkey, 31 ago. 14

I'm starting over with my lifestyle change. I graduated from college very overweight. I think I was at 185. Then I spent 8 months of hard work and home cooked meals and weighed 150 when I started graduate school. I went down to 147, and since that first semester ended, I've done nothing but stress eat, hardly exercised, and overworked myself with full time classes and full time teaching. I'm exhausted all the time and got up to 196 this summer. I just keep thinking back to 4 years ago when I still hated the way I looked and was dying to get down to my correct weight. I look at myself now and hate that I couldn't realize how much healthier I had become and how much thinner I was, even if I wasn't at a normal weight yet. Now I'm starting over and every time I go to eat, the thought that what I'm eating is only going to make me fatter just makes me sick and makes me not want to eat. I haven't missed any meals though because that's not going to help either. I've been trying to stop drinking sodas and buying food that is unhealthy, and in the last couple of weeks, I've gotten down to 182.6 pounds. I feel a little better seeing that, but I don't see any difference. I'm also just so frustrated because I spent a month and a half working abroad this summer and I literally walked 10000-20000 steps a day in comparison to the 3000-5000 I had been walking at home, and I didn't lose an ounce.