Maintenance Day 15 Lift Day
Today's Waist = 34 1/4"; No Change Target Waist = 32" - 34" Target Scale = 195# +/- 5#
Sun's out. House is at peace. Kids are in a good place, chasing them dreams and all that. Grounded, competent, earning. #2's banging Kanye on the piano. I'm in decent shape; best in a few years. Good base tan! Haven't heard a peep from the Ex in months. Undertaking some long deferred self care. All super positive.
Not feelin it a bit...
Kids are on the verge of being out of the house. Had a career/life heart to heart with #1 the other night. He's deadly competent and super smart, but says he has anxiety/fear issues (which I largely have ignored). I went to sleep. He bought a one way ticket to the coast for a terrific opportunity he's been putting off.
#2 is out in a couple days for a top summer program and soon after will be out of the house for school.
That leaves me alone with the geriatric shit festival for which I neither have, nor want to have, patience.
Also, Cousin G, who I love dearly and who has a great relationship with the boys, is going in for surgery this week. He's survived more than most - heart attacks, pancreatic cancer, etc. - but he thinks he's going to die this time.
Took the boys to see him last week. House is a hoarder shit show. Just like pop before we cleaned him out. Mail piled so high you can't see the dining room table, newspapers piled everywhere, sink full of dishes. He needs help. Obv. We thought we were going to lunch. He's curled up in a ball in the recliner. Fed him. Did dishes. Carted about 15 garbage bags to the dumpster. Barely made a dent.
Here's the thing. He's got family! As far as I can tell no one has been out there to see him for years. And no family is going to be there when he goes in for surgery. Unless I go. You know where you can find 'em right now? Front row of church. Fuck. Off.
And I've clearly alienated some family members. Both sides. Surprised to stumble across pics last week of a wedding we did not even know about. People whom it would never occur to me to not invite to anything. Even now. No beef here. Total shocker. Didn't tell the kids....
Same with a whole series of funerals/christenings with one faction on the other side. These are all people whose wedding I was in. And Pop is the eldest surviving on both sides and by these same people's own accounts "showed up for everything" and supported them their whole lives. Hard to imagine what I did that was so offensive, but apparently it's been done.
And one last thing. I still love the Minx. It's been almost 3 years. I've seen others. I have an open heart. Parting ways was and remains the right choice. It was all handled as graciously as these things can be. No regrets. No rewind.
But some experiences are so powerful that they leave you changed. She used to joke that I had ruined her for other men. Did my best. Two way street, that, though. Once you have had that Good Good Love, anything less just seems a shadow of the real thing.
Felt like a little bitch even contemplating putting this to words, until I saw Puffy go on about how Misa is his "heart" in the Mary J Blige documentary. That's been at least 25... The crazy success of My Life, and all the healing it spawned, for creators and fans alike, was built on unwrapping and unleashing all that pain; putting it all on blast...
Artist as patient... Art as therapy.. Producer as therapist.. These were the insights that inspired #1 to finally bounce. Go get em, kid.
Ima done now.
Let's go!
“The Buddha famously said that life is suffering. I’m not a Buddhist, but I know what he meant and so do you. To exist in this world, we must contend with humiliation, broken dreams, sadness, and loss.” – Goggins
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90,4 kg
Disminuído hasta ahora: 0,8 kg.
Aún para ir: 2,8 kg.
Dieta seguida: Bien.
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1724 kcal
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Grasa: 81,06g | Prot: 66,90g | Carbh: 110,48g.
Almuerzo: Anheuser-Busch Budweiser Beer, Phillips Crab Cake Minis, Mrs. T's Potato & Cheddar Pierogies, Sonic Tater Tots (Regular), Five Guys Cheeseburger. Pasa Bocas / Otros: Parmesan Cheese (Grated). más...
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Perdiendo 3,2 kg a la Semana
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1 a 20 de 24
Comentarios
Jimmiepop I wish I had something eloquent to write to support you.. 🤷🏻♀️. I’m sorry. But stay strong 💪🏻❤️
04 jul. 21 por el miembro: piggy winkle
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Thank you for being there for Cousin G. I’m a visiting nurse and I see similar situations all the time. I find myself cleaning up the hot mess and feeding my patients before I could even start my visits. Your actions remind me of one of my favorite paintings “Seven Acts of Mercy” by Caravaggio.
04 jul. 21 por el miembro: yfritz
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Appreciate you, Fritzy. I have mad respect for what you do. Couldn't do it. I try to abstain from judgment of others actions/inaction. Who knows what the fam might be going through, right? That said, G and his wife generously hosted EVERYONE at their ski house. Huge fam and circle of friends. 100% MIA.
04 jul. 21 por el miembro: jimmiepop
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PS - You bake a dope orzo, kukle. Yassou!
04 jul. 21 por el miembro: jimmiepop
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Yassou to you too Jim. I’m always here for you if you want to vent re: “geriatric shit festival” 🤣🤣
04 jul. 21 por el miembro: yfritz
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Thank you. With your permission, I may DM you with some questions as I try to figure out how/what care to provide going forward.
04 jul. 21 por el miembro: jimmiepop
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Sure anytime. Just alert me. I rarely get on the desktop computer. I don’t know how to check messages on the phone app.
04 jul. 21 por el miembro: yfritz
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Man that post that really touched me today Jimmie. Acceptance and Forgiveness.
04 jul. 21 por el miembro: adefwebserver
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Thank you for sharing. You are doing what you know is tight but it hurts that there are no others to help. Let's go
04 jul. 21 por el miembro: abbadabba
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Families are the very best and the very worst. Just be the one who does the right thing and i know you can finish the rest of that thought. I try to interact with more of mine from time to time and just no. The ones who have always been there are the ones i want to keep.
04 jul. 21 por el miembro: Katsolo
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The thought and feeling in this was beautiful!!! Try not to let the oversight of others pain you, clearly there can be silly reasons why people make choices round these things.. and sometimes it is only that! Wish you peace :)
04 jul. 21 por el miembro: Bandrai
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wait for your uncle and I hope he makes his surgery I'm so happy that he has you and that you are slowly recovering when the marriage is broken it is so hard to cope with best of luck
05 jul. 21 por el miembro: ridemariel
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love your posts Jimmie. thx for sharing... stay strong!
05 jul. 21 por el miembro: marpingo21
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Seen you on here for years, Jimmiepop, and have appreciated how you support others. (Let's Go!) Now I have a sense of your burdens and wish you the best navigating the journey. I'm wondering if the family knows your cousin's situation? Some people who are givers (which sounds like your cousin) don't ask when they need help. Not sure what that's about, but maybe it feels like asking for payback for the nice things one gave from the heart.
05 jul. 21 por el miembro: trackin64
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Damn Jimmie, you have me in tears, and I have to go on my computer and copy your post, it is way to good to disappear!!!!☹️
Plus, now I have to clean out some parts of our office as old mail is piling up.😔
Plus, Mermee summed it up best, to expect more from yourself than others. I always lived that way as your never let down that way!!!Just don’t expect it or be judgmental as they may come through in some aspects not expected later.
Blessings to you Jimmie and I don’t have to say stay strong for you are one of a hellish strong guy!!!💪💪💪👍💕
05 jul. 21 por el miembro: Shrewdness
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@piggy, @adef, @abba, @band, @pingo. Appreciate you and all your kind words and wishes. Truly. Thank you.
05 jul. 21 por el miembro: jimmiepop
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@kat I know. Appreciate you. I think I'm just feeling things more acutely with the boys impending departures. Ironic that, since I have supposedly been looking forward to it, and have taken to condescend on the soccer moms whining that they have an empty house. Time to reclaim my life...
05 jul. 21 por el miembro: jimmiepop
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@merm Appreciate you and all the wisdom and positive vibes you put out here and elsewhere. 100% agreed on the expectations bit. Pop once said 'You cannot measure others by your own cup" Or at least my cousins attribute it to him, I never actually heard it!
You're right also that Pop will get worse. It's happening. I just didn't put it on blast. I think I'm good with the mortality bit. #1 and I walked away from a head on collision a year ago. I really never blinked. Not claiming to be some kind of bad ass. I just didn't flinch in that moment. What does make me flinch, like a bitch, is this garbage preamble to death I am witnessing. Not tryna run that playbook. Shopping for DNR ink, paperwork, and bling. Next stop, sport bike!
Two Exs. Sorry for the confusion. Zero feels either way for the Ex wife/kids mom. The Minx is a different story. Which status she earned. And yes, women are more resilient. I have seen this everwhere - business, relationships, etc. Men have a relatively difficult time letting go of careers, businesses, corporate status, wives, etc. [IMHO]
05 jul. 21 por el miembro: jimmiepop
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Thanks, mariel! Appreciate you.
05 jul. 21 por el miembro: jimmiepop
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@trackin. Appreciate the kind words and wishes. They know. Current POA is MIA for 4 months. He's not even family cause the fam was MIA when G set his shit up. They know because he has asked directly and repeatedly. It's the stepping up that has been absent. Hopefully we're about to get that cured. We'll see.
05 jul. 21 por el miembro: jimmiepop
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