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Its been a hard couple of weeks....BUT the past 4-5 days I have managed to turn it around! Yay! Its mentally poisonous to binge after 5 weeks of doing so well. :( It just feels really bad. The worst part is not knowing how to stop it. I would wake up every morning and say to myself, "Ok, today is a new day and I am going to follow my plan." Only to have a binge and there goes a half a bag of chips! UGH! So I went and saw the Psychologist at the Weight Loss Center I am going to and it really helped. She said something to me that while slightly depressing almost freed me too. She said, this is who you are. You don't drink, you don't do drugs, you use food. It will happen again if you don't accept this part of yourself. She said that food will probably always be important to me but that it will also not be as important as it is now. Now maybe to someone else they might look at this as defeating. But I almost feel like I have been fighting this for so long it never occurred to me to accept it and deal with it that way. I have been searching for the miracle solution to "cure" me. I just want to be normal. She said, "you have to find normal for you." Well damn. I wanted normal!! (Not sure what normal was, except that I wanted to not think about what I am going to eat, how many calories, when will I exercise, and have this war with myself over food choices.) Well folks, if I do that I am letting addiction win. I guess its time to pull myself up by my boot straps and realize that this is who I am and learn how to deal with it. I wish that I could have realized this 20 years ago, but then I guess I wasn't ready to hear it. I know that this realization doesn't mean I won't struggle again, but today I am good. I feel good. I love me, food addict and all. I sit here writing this with tears in my eyes because I feel like all of the sudden there may be a light at the end of this tunnel. Damn that feels good.
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127,0 kg
Disminuído hasta ahora: 1,8 kg.
Aún para ir: 63,5 kg.
Dieta seguida: Bien.
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Perdiendo 0,8 kg a la Semana
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